i realise..

whenever i start slipping, losing control whatsoever, there's an implicit tendency for me to slip right back into the past, living on reminisence.

and

i feel like i'm losing sight. as in, literally. i hope the degeneration crap didnt really come true, though it sounds really plausible. i dont wanna go blind just cos of a levels. damn.

there're so many times today i just wanted to swear but i guess i controlled.

there're also an equal number of times today i just wanted to cry but i guess that didnt come true either.

yay for increase in tolerance.

and to think this morning i heard over the radio a discussion about the expulsion of tormenting emotions benefiting the health of an individual. yet here i am doing the exact opposite.

i think i'm really weird.

i can't believe how i'm trying to cheer others up when i am not even helping those closest to me. maybe it's just because i cant help it? i dont know. sometimes when you know them too well things just get harder.

and i think this is the first time for the past few weeks i'm blogging this long? yay again. it's surprising how i still have the patience to tap at this keyboard right now.

i'm getting "ventilation" this weekend! whee. and i really want that lonsdale. ><

suddenly forgot what i wanted to type.

tataz~